Bob Newhart Quotes

Quotes about:

• I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

  Bob Newhart

  Funny, Music, Country

  54 Copy quote

• I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

  Bob Newhart

  Children, Fun, Successful

  59 Copy quote

• I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

  Bob Newhart

  Running, Fun, Trying

  24 Copy quote

• Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

  Bob Newhart

  Happiness, Smile, Moving On

  Bob Newhart (2006). “I shouldn't even be doing this: and other things that strike me as funny”

  53 Copy quote

• People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

  Bob Newhart

  Humble, Views, People

  33 Copy quote

• It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

  Bob Newhart

  Phones, Cells, Talking

  32 Copy quote

• Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame.

  Bob Newhart

  Dog, Two, Way

  17 Copy quote

• A collison is what happens when two motorists go after the same pedestrian.

  Bob Newhart

  Two, Pedestrians, Happens

  6 Copy quote

• The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.

  Bob Newhart

  Way, Humour

  8 Copy quote

• I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least.

  Bob Newhart

  Quiet, Introvert, Minimalist

  18 Copy quote

• The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it.

  Bob Newhart

  Country, Laughter, Gay

  6 Copy quote

• Cell phones have gotten so small, you can't tell who's a cell phone user and who's a schizophrenic.

  Bob Newhart

  Phones, Cells, Cell Phone

  9 Copy quote

• I don't want to find the secret. I'm afraid all the joy will go out of it if I find the secret.

  Bob Newhart

  Joy, Secret, Want

  "Bob Newhart: What I've Learned" by Mike Sager, www.esquire.com. December 18, 2008.

  17 Copy quote

• Well, if you’re a native Chicagoan, you know how dumb he [Dr. Robert Hartley] is. He gets on the Ravenswood El, he goes past his stop on Sheridan Road, he gets off in Evanston, where the El is on the ground, and then he walks back 55 blocks to his apartment. Now, would you want to have that man as a psychologist? A man who misses his stop every day?

  Bob Newhart

  Block, Past, Men

  24 Copy quote

• But I really believe that if you have the ability, there is an obligation to make people laugh

  Bob Newhart

  Believe, People, Laughing

  16 Copy quote

• There's gratification in making somebody laugh. It's a wonderful sound. I find myself, to this day, doing it, wanting to make people laugh.

  Bob Newhart

  People, Laughing, Sound

  "Bob Newhart: What I've Learned" by Mike Sager, www.esquire.com. December 18, 2008.

  18 Copy quote

• All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.

  Bob Newhart

  Jobs, Fun, Comedian

  5 Copy quote

• You should have a value system. You can win if you stick with your value system.

  Bob Newhart

  Winning, Should Have, Sticks

  7 Copy quote

• I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant.

  Bob Newhart

  Speed, Amusing, Delivery

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  5 Copy quote

• All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'

  Bob Newhart

  Happiness, Life Is, Enjoy

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  9 Copy quote

• Continuing to do stand-up is always a challenge because the audiences and the environments in which you work very often differ.

  Bob Newhart

  Challenges, Environment, Continuing

  13 Copy quote

• I'm one of those passengers who arrives at the airport five or six hours early so I can throw back a few drinks and muster up the courage to board the plane. Apparently I'm not alone because I've never been in an empty airport bar. I don't care what time you get there. Even at 8:00 a.m. you have to fight your way to the bar. At that hour, everyone drinks Bloody Marys so no one can tell it's booze- at least until they fall off their chair.

  Bob Newhart

  Fall, Fighting, Airports

  19 Copy quote

• You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.

  Bob Newhart

  Truth, Truth Is, Being Funny

  "Bob Newhart: What I've Learned" by Mike Sager, www.esquire.com. December 18, 2008.

  4 Copy quote

• Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It's simply the way it is.

  Bob Newhart

  Men, Emotional, Way

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  5 Copy quote

• Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it's part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class.

  Bob Newhart

  Believe, Thinking, Class

  16 Copy quote

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