A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.
I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.'
I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.
I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.
I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it.
One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life.
The BBC is a victim of its own independence.
Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'
I am really bad at actually interviewing people.
A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.
I don't think anyone wants to be gay.
Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV.
Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.
I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes.
I am very quick to judge.
In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints
Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No!
I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness.
I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.
Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.
My life could have been so grim really, really grim.
It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot.
You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people.
It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.
If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.
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