I generally don't like living in a world where being what a man is, is a horrible thing; and no matter what a woman is, is a wonderful thing.
I am that guy who will say things that people seem to think is a little edgy, a little racy.
Just making the crowd laugh is not really doing things for me anymore. That's just knowing how to kill; I've learned how to kill - but also learned when a crowd's laughter is meaningful.
Women expect us to like them, but they don't even like each other
What I'm trying to do is be righteous. And when I say “righteous,” I don't mean God. You know? God- Righteous. I mean just when I wake up, I know I was honest to myself.
Women don't want to win, they want a winner.
People have tried to corner the market on being offended, corner the market on language and corner the market on opinion. Should I lose my job 'cause I offended somebody? No, of course not. Your life should never be affected by public opinion.
I don't go to any sexy places to eat where they give you half a lamb chop and one bean. I like going, 'Uhhh, I'm done' when I eat.
Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That's not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because I don't want to feel like I could just make people laugh at every single joke, every single time, with the same decibel level.
People say life ain't fairlife is very fair. People aren't fairpeople are terrible.
I like to be loved or hated - I don't like mediocre. So I'd rather have the entire crowd hate me than to have 90% hate me.
Having women work with men is like having a grizzly bear work with salmon . . . dipped in honey.
I'm a slave to the culture, so I see an Audi, a Denali, or an Escalade, my neighbor got the four-door Porsche. I have a really nice truck. But it's a Durango and I like frontin'! I like to ride by and show off.
I wanna say 'China', but I don't really mean 'China.' I just mean the places that Chinese people come from.
I'm really glad my food comes murdered.
Who has connections to Connecticut? That's where rich people go to live the rest of their life in the woods.
I'm a thigh-meat dude. Thigh is just the best meat - I don't get chicken breast. I think it's a publicity stunt that we've convinced people it's delicious.
I'm a decent cook, and I will try to cook anything. My only weakness is that I don't know servings - I only know how to make a lot.
I need a little bass and I don't even need that crazy bass to break your face. I just want it to sound good when I have my favorite song.
Ive still got that little freedom part of me that wants to have a car that looks really sexy.
I'm a big buffet dude, or I'm a big cheap-food-and-order-more-when-I-need-it dude.
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