Karl Pilkington Quotes

Quotes about:

• We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Iron, Age

  59 Copy quote

• I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous.

  Karl Pilkington

  Saws, Bananas, Facts

  32 Copy quote

• I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.

  Karl Pilkington

  Holiday, Years, People

  "Karl Pilkington gets attacked by a crab and swims through poo in The Moaning of Life series 2 trailer" by Tom Eames, www.digitalspy.com. August 3, 2015.

  43 Copy quote

• It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.

  Karl Pilkington

  Biscuits, Lifestyle, Miles Apart

  27 Copy quote

• Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot.

  Karl Pilkington

  Wings, Pigeons, Walks

  94 Copy quote

• Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Moon, Armstrong

  TV Series "3 Minute Wonder" (Episode 2), (2006– ).

  5 Copy quote

• Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.

  Karl Pilkington

  Home, Yesterday, Challenges

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  39 Copy quote

• If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things.

  Karl Pilkington

  Interesting, Ends, Plans

  4 Copy quote
• 

  People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.

  Karl Pilkington

  Glasses, Doors, People

  Podcast Series 1 Episode 6, www.pilkipedia.co.uk. January 09, 2006.

  59 Copy quote

• I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Mouths, Stuff

  18 Copy quote

• They've found this spider, in the jungle. Three foot long, it eats chicken. Bit weird, innit. People moan saying that you shouldn't lock animals up and all the rest of it, but to be honest I wish it was locked up. The idea that it's roaming in a jungle... get it locked up.

  Karl Pilkington

  Animal, Ideas, Feet

  "3 Minute Wonder (Some Thoughts by Karl Pilkington: Nature)". TV Series, August 17, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep.

  Karl Pilkington

  Sleep, Bed, Remember

  6 Copy quote

• They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.

  Karl Pilkington

  Ocean, Simple, Sea

  "3 Minute Wonder", Episode 4, www.pilkipedia.co.uk. August 17, 2006.

  23 Copy quote

• I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.

  Karl Pilkington

  People, Looks, Mime

  12 Copy quote

• There was some women in a café the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on about "oh the baby's lovely." They said it's got, er, lovely big eyes, er, really big hands and feet. Now that doesn't sound like a nice baby to me. I felt like sayin' it sounds like a frog. But I thought I don't know her, there's only so much you can say to a stranger. I don't know what kept me from sayin' it.

  Karl Pilkington

  Baby, Nice, Eye

  "The Podfather Trilogy", Episode 1: Halloween, 2006.

  6 Copy quote

• People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?

  Karl Pilkington

  Animal, Thinking, People

  "3 Minute Wonder (Some Thoughts by Karl Pilkington: Nature)". TV Series, August 17, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?

  Karl Pilkington

  Ladders, Evolution, Giraffe

  "Xfm" Radio, June 11, 2005.

  30 Copy quote

• I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Mean, Chocolate

  10 Copy quote

• If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good

  Karl Pilkington

  Wrinkles, Worry, Ifs

  6 Copy quote

• You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle.

  Karl Pilkington

  Men, Angry Man, Angry

  14 Copy quote

• I saw a bee have a heart attack.

  Karl Pilkington

  Heart, Saws, Bees

  5 Copy quote

• If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.

  Karl Pilkington

  Anus, Mines, Five

  10 Copy quote

• You don't get anything done by planning

  Karl Pilkington

  Done, Planning

  5 Copy quote

• I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.

  Karl Pilkington

  Surprise, Enough, Bigs

  Karl Pilkington (2010). “An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington”, p.12, Canongate Books

  4 Copy quote

• Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Brain, Doe

  "The Ricky Gervais Show" podcast (Season 2, Episode 6), April 4, 2006.

  10 Copy quote

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