Don't compare yourself with someone else's version of happy or thin. Accepting yourself burns the most calories.
Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date.
I constantly walk into a room and I don't remember why. But for some reason, I think there's going to be a clue in the fridge.
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.
I always feel slightly sorry to be the voice of whatever I'm experiencing.
You can always tell when someone's lying to you, because they're male.
Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.
My father can not finish a sentence. When we were kids he would go, 'Girls the most important thing in life to remember is...' 'Daddy, what is it?' 'What's what, honey?' 'The most important thing in life to remember.' 'Oh, what's that?'
When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
I remember I was so crabby in my third trimester - I got gestational diabetes because I'd been acting like I was in a one-woman pie-eating contest.
I'm so into momminess.
Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks.
I grew up thinking that if I wanted to go be prime minister, I could.
I've got big feet, so filling someone else's big shoes doesn't scare me.
I always like to think I'm having a dinner party, and I'm the host, and the audience are my guests.
You can't get any braver than going on national television to be weighed.
My daughter is exceptionally chatty. I'm not a braggy mother but she is gifted - with the personality of a Russian gymnastics coach.
Sitting next to Olivia Newton-John, I was like, 'Do not sing one song from Grease.' That's all I was telling my brain at all times: 'Do not sing Hopelessly Devoted. Don't do it.'
As a kid, I always wanted to be Carol Burnett or Johnny Carson. I love to chat and entertain.
I was just the youngest in the family, and most in desperate need of attention.
I am conversational - I just like to engage and talk about things.
I'd like a pop-up magazine with 45 articles on Russell Crowe. I'm like a teenager. I'd have 'Teen Beat' if I could, for grown-ups.
It's so easy to judge everybody and for some reason extra weight is the one thing everything feels OK to joke about.
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