Rita Rudner Quotes About Comedy

Quotes about: Comedy

• I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

  Rita Rudner

  Witty, Children, Parenting

• Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Stupid, Humor

• I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Humor, Doctors

• The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Humor, Men

  Rita Rudner (1993). “Naked Beneath My Clothes: Tales of a Revealing Nature”, Penguin Group USA

• My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

  Rita Rudner

  Sarcastic, Fake People, Husband

• I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Women, Humor

• Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Fall, Humor

• My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Life, Wedding

• A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Country, War

• It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Humor, Comedy

• They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Money, Humor

• I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Children, Pregnancy

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• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin