There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.
The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.
I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.
A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.
Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.
Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers.
It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!
The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it.
Los Angeles is seven suburbs in search of a city.
Nothing risque, nothing gained.
You haven't lived until you died in New York.
Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water.
To all things clergic I am allergic.
Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.
It was Mrs. Campbell, for instance, who, on a celebrated occasion, threw her companion into a flurry by describing her recent marriage as "the deep, deep peace of the double-bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-longue."
A broker is a man who runs your fortune into a shoestring.
She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.
His huff arrived and he departed in it.
I count it a high honor to belong to a profession in which the good men write every paragraph, every sentence, every line, as lovingly as any Addison or Steele, and do so in full regard that by tomorrow it will have been burned, or used, if at all, to line a shelf.
Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking...
There's nothing wrong with Oscar Levant - nothing a miracle won't cure.
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