There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.
The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.
At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.
One listens to one's lawyer prattle on as long as one can stand it and then signs where indicated.
His huff arrived and he departed in it.
It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!
Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.
A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.
The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it.
Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water.
Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers.
To all things clergic I am allergic.
The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.
Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking...
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Nothing risque, nothing gained.
Los Angeles is seven suburbs in search of a city.
You haven't lived until you died in New York.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar Levant that a miracle can't fix.
She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.
There's nothing wrong with Oscar Levant - nothing a miracle won't cure.
I count it a high honor to belong to a profession in which the good men write every paragraph, every sentence, every line, as lovingly as any Addison or Steele, and do so in full regard that by tomorrow it will have been burned, or used, if at all, to line a shelf.
Babies in silk hats playing with dynamite.
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