There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.
The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.
One listens to one's lawyer prattle on as long as one can stand it and then signs where indicated.
I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.
It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!
Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.
The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it.
A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.
Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers.
The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Los Angeles is seven suburbs in search of a city.
Nothing risque, nothing gained.
You haven't lived until you died in New York.
Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water.
To all things clergic I am allergic.
There's nothing wrong with Oscar Levant - nothing a miracle won't cure.
Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.
Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking...
His huff arrived and he departed in it.
She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.
Babies in silk hats playing with dynamite.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar Levant that a miracle can't fix.
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