Larry the Cable Guy Quotes

Quotes about:

• I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Midget

  14 Copy quote

• Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes, that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city
  5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can't swim is a genius.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Smart, New Orleans, Assessment

  76 Copy quote

• I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Parks, Tornadoes, Funny Redneck

  "FIctional character: Mater (voice)". "Cars" (Video Game), www.imdb.com. 2006.

  38 Copy quote

• Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Gun, People, Blame

  87 Copy quote

• I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Cousin, Men, Upset

  "Larry the Cable Guy: Morning Constitutions". Comedy, www.imdb.com. 2007.

  31 Copy quote

• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Thinking, Laughing, Lasts

  36 Copy quote

• Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Wrecks, Sometimes, Truck

  40 Copy quote

• I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Wine, Vegetables, Pounds

  26 Copy quote

• Our whole wedding cost 180 bucks. Afterward, we re-heated lasagna for everyone and set off fireworks.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Cost, Bucks, Fireworks

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  17 Copy quote

• Remember, half the people you know are below average.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Average, People, Hard Work Pays Off

  32 Copy quote

• I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Doctors, Office, Needs

  "Hannity" with Sean Hannity, www.foxnews.com. June 15, 2011.

  35 Copy quote

• You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Funny, Baby, Kids

  30 Copy quote

• Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not eat." Do they really need that stuff in them boots? Is there really some dude opening a pair of boots goin', "Boy, look at them boots. What the hell? I better eat that. I don't know what the hell that is."

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Funny, Boys, Needs

  23 Copy quote

• Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Husband, Home, Gun

  14 Copy quote

• I am called to love my neighbor, which I do. I can disagree with my neighbor about several things, but I'm not going to hate my neighbor. It's not up to me to hate anybody. It's not up to me to judge anyone. It's up to me to be nice, to be kind and to do everything I can to help somebody.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Hate, Nice, Judging

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

  24 Copy quote

• I'm saying, come on, the global warming thing? How did the ice melt during the ice ages? Was the dinosaurs driving SUVs around back then?

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Ice, Age, Dinosaurs

  "Hannity" with Sean Hannity, www.foxnews.com. June 15, 2011.

  12 Copy quote

• If guns kill people, I can blame misspelled words on my pencil.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Gun, People, Blame

  "Git-R-Done". Stand-up Comedy Album, 2003.

  11 Copy quote

• I disagree with a lot of things, but hey, what a person does is between them and their maker. I can disagree with somebody, and I can still be friends with them.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Doe, Hey, Makers

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

  16 Copy quote

• I have thick skin. I'm not a baby. Nothing really offends me. If there's something I think might offend me, I don't listen to it.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Baby, Thinking, Skins

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

  6 Copy quote

• I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE SENCE OF HUMOR I HAVE. ALL THE STUFF I TALK ABOUT MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR CHURCH GROUPS HOWEVER WAL-MART AINT SUNDAY SCHOOL. AS LONG AS I DIDNT USE OFFENSIVE FOUL LANGUAGE I KNEW ID BE FINE. WAL-MART GETS IT, THATS WHY THEY BLOW AWAY THE COMPETITION. BESIDES ITS THERE STORE THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT. THATS AMERICA BABY!

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Baby, School, Sunday

  Source: www.dead-frog.com

  17 Copy quote

• There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars."

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Country, Redneck, Differences

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

  10 Copy quote

• THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Kissing, Political, Fans

  Source: www.dead-frog.com

  14 Copy quote

• I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn't spell. I judge a person by their character.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Character, Men, People

  "Dan Whitney, a.k.a. Larry The Cable Guy". Interview with Noel Murray, www.avclub.com. August 30, 2011.

  7 Copy quote

• I know I don't want to take the Lord's name in vain, and I don't want to drop any F-bombs.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Names, Bombs, Want

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

  15 Copy quote

• Its nice if people can finally loosen up a little bit and just go out laugh at silliness. I mean, people take themselves way too seriously sometimes.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Nice, Mean, People

  13 Copy quote

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