Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
...the elephant smoked too much.
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