Doug Stanhope Quotes - Page 8

Quotes about:

• I'm not the one-take wonder that a lot people think I am.

  Doug Stanhope

  Thinking, People, Wonder

  10 Copy quote

• I recommend to you, in my last, an innocent piece of art: that of flattering people behind their backs, in presence of those who, to make their own court, much more than for your sake, will not fail to repeat, and even amplify, the praise to the party concerned. This is of all flattery the most pleasing, and consequently the most effectual.

  Doug Stanhope

  Art, People, Pieces

  5 Copy quote

• Religion is by no means a proper subject of conversation in a mixed company.

  Doug Stanhope

  Mean, Conversation, Company

  4 Copy quote

• Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.

  Doug Stanhope

  Angry

  5 Copy quote

• Comedy is like music; it builds on itself. Once someone comes up with a theory or a different way of doing things, people start to mimic it on some level. That's why you go back to the guys you loved in the 80s... and it just seems tired now, because it was all foundation.

  Doug Stanhope

  Music, Tired, People

  5 Copy quote

• I'm gonna film my entire life and watch it later!

  Doug Stanhope

  Watches, Film

  "Doug Stanhope: Oslo - Burning the Bridge to Nowhere". Comedy, 2011.

  4 Copy quote

• I need you to love me, I don't like me, either, if that helps.

  Doug Stanhope

  Needs, Helping, Need You

  5 Copy quote

• I drank, smoked and did drugs to get where I'm at.

  Doug Stanhope

  Drug, Drank

  7 Copy quote

• The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society.

  Doug Stanhope

  Progressive Society, Progressive, Institutions

  6 Copy quote

• If I say f*** the government, some will clap because they agree and some will clap just because you said f***. I've had countless audience members offer me free drugs but I also got free hernia surgery.

  Doug Stanhope

  Government, Drug, Members

  7 Copy quote

• Unfortunately this is where comedy works, where people are the most miserable.

  Doug Stanhope

  People, Comedy, Miserable

  "Doug Stanhope: No Refunds". Documentary, Comedy, 2007.

  7 Copy quote

• "This is Lakshmi Singh." It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.

  Doug Stanhope

  Dying, Tadpoles, Mouths

  Source: www.esquire.com

  6 Copy quote

• The Unbookables are supposed to be unbookable. That's what it's all about.

  Doug Stanhope

  Supposed To Be

  6 Copy quote

• [Stand-up] might be ballsy, but I'd rather not be an actor. Actors are tools.

  Doug Stanhope

  Tools, Actors, Might

  Source: www.esquire.com

  7 Copy quote

• You say you hate children and people always say the same thing; it would be different if it was your own child. Well what if it wasn't?

  Doug Stanhope

  Children, Hate, People

  7 Copy quote

• I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.

  Doug Stanhope

  Funny, Humor, Trying

  7 Copy quote

• In 20 years of comedy, I've probably had a dozen good points.

  Doug Stanhope

  Years, Dozen, Comedy

  "Doug Stanhope: Before Turning The Gun On Himself" by Steve Heisler, www.avclub.com. March 06, 2012.

  7 Copy quote

• The more business gets involved, the less fun it is.

  Doug Stanhope

  Fun, Get Involved, Involved

  "Portrait of the artist: Doug Stanhope, comedian". Interview with Laura Barnett, www.theguardian.com. March 6, 2012.

  6 Copy quote

• I'm just funnier when I'm drunk. Not falling-down drunk, just drunk enough to lose the self-doubt.

  Doug Stanhope

  Fall, Self, Drunk

  7 Copy quote

• I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.

  Doug Stanhope

  Tape, Looks, Jerk

  "Doug Stanhope: pro-choice, pro-drugs, but defiantly anti-Guardian". Interview with Tim Jonze, www.theguardian.com. September 09, 2011.

  8 Copy quote

• People always try to palm me weed when I'm always talking about how I don't smoke weed. But they always try to ... and when they stop offering me weed, then I'm going to feel kind of out of touch, like: "What did I do wrong that you won't offer me drugs that I don't do?" Because I'll trade those drugs out for drugs that I do do.

  Doug Stanhope

  Weed, People, Drug

  Source: hightimes.com

  4 Copy quote

• There's a lot of meth [in Bisbee]. So there's an ex-cop-car Tahoe and a BE DRUG FREE van parked right in front of my house.

  Doug Stanhope

  Car, House, Drug

  Source: www.esquire.com

  4 Copy quote

• If you're going to kill yourself just do me one favor: say it was because of my act. Can you do that? I need the press.

  Doug Stanhope

  Needs, Favors, Killing Yourself

  4 Copy quote

• Man, it just cost me five dollars to beat my own meat... God bless the United States of America.

  Doug Stanhope

  Men, America, Cost

  4 Copy quote

• They never differentiate between drug users and drug addicts... I've done most drugs there are socially, I never had a problem.

  Doug Stanhope

  Drug, Done, Problem

  4 Copy quote

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