John Swartzwelder Quotes

• I made a circular motion with my finger around my temple to indicate I thought this guy was crazy, forgetting that there was no one in the room to see this circular motion except him. He saw it and frowned.

  John Swartzwelder

  Crazy, Guy, Rooms

  John Swartzwelder (2004). “The Time Machine Did It”

  7 Copy quote

• I try to maintain a positive attitude at all times, because clients notice little things like that, and if you're frowning and crying all the time and saying "why? why?", they get worried.

  John Swartzwelder

  Attitude, Trying, Frowning

  John Swartzwelder (2004). “The Time Machine Did It”

  8 Copy quote

• They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?

  John Swartzwelder

  Coffee, Taste, Cups

  7 Copy quote

• If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it.

  John Swartzwelder

  Way, Advantage, Duty

  7 Copy quote

• As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach.

  John Swartzwelder

  Stories, Stomach, Exciting

  4 Copy quote

• I'm 190 pounds of rock hard muscle, underneath 40 pounds of sturdy protective fat.

  John Swartzwelder

  Rocks, Pounds, Sturdy

  John Swartzwelder (2004). “The Time Machine Did It”

  4 Copy quote

• I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

  John Swartzwelder

  Couple, Toilets, Bills

  4 Copy quote

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