If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve
The surest way to learn is by doing it, but often, the lesson is: Don't do it!
There's no harm in talking to yourself, but try to avoid telling yourself jokes you've heard before.
I've found the secret of happiness, total disregard of everybody.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
To be sure of winning, invent your own game, and never tell any other player the rules.
Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.
Please don't believe everything you hear about me, regardless of how true it may be.
Sometimes the best way to be useful is to get out of somebody's way.
I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
My main object in life is to see what will happen next.
It's hard letting go of the past, when there are no firm handholds in the future.
Just when I nearly had the answer, I forgot the question.
There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.
Please don't tell me there's no need to worry, it's the only thing I'm any good at.
Why aren't you more grateful when I prove how wrong you've been?
The really great people are the ones who know how to make the little people feel great.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.
I want it clearly understood that I'm totally confused.
The hand can be quicker than the eye, and the mouth can be quicker than the brain.
Life can be very deep, but I'm trying to stay at the shallow end.
You are what you eat, but eventually you become what eats you.
If you can't go where people are happier, try to make people happier where you are.
Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communication with some of the living.
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