Jerry Lawler Quotes

• Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the Bible.

  Jerry Lawler

  Wrestling, Wwe, Helen

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• What do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up!

  Jerry Lawler

  Beer, Snakes, Jake

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• In this day and time, with no competition you are really walking a tightrope. I mean you may think that no competition is good, but in reality no competition is really bad.

  Jerry Lawler

  Mean, Good Day, Reality

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• If the Japanese are so smart, why do they eat with sticks?

  Jerry Lawler

  Smart, Sticks, Ifs

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• I'm not embarrassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school.

  Jerry Lawler

  School, Embarrassed

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• The only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink.

  Jerry Lawler

  Wrestling, Snakes, Jake

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• As a baby, Bret Hart was so ugly that they had to put tinted windows on his incubator!

  Jerry Lawler

  Baby, Ugly, Window

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• Koko B. Ware is a crossword wrestler: he enters the ring vertically, and leaves horizontally.

  Jerry Lawler

  Wrestler, Rings, Crosswords

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• Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they're next to them.

  Jerry Lawler

  World, Next, Panties

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• When John Cena came to Raw, he immediately got off on the wrong foot with Eric Bischoff. Eric Bischoff said that he thought John Cena was a would be Eminem, and Lord knows one Eminem is enough, but since that time, I have come to respect and really like this kid. This John Cena is a good guy. You can't say anything differently than that.

  Jerry Lawler

  Kids, Wwe, Feet

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• I don't think it's blowing my own horn to say the show is not as good. There was chemistry there that took years and years to build and now that's gone. The commentary is lacking.

  Jerry Lawler

  Thinking, Years, Horny

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• Certainly it's a business and you've got to have a salesman, but in my mind, when you've got two guys doing the same thing, you don't need one of them.

  Jerry Lawler

  Two, Guy, Mind

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• Of course, the whole Andy Kaufman angle was classic. I'm real proud of that. I mean that is something people are still talking about 20 years later, making movies about and that sort of thing. I mean not a day goes by that someone doesn't mention Andy Kaufman to me

  Jerry Lawler

  Real, Mean, Talking

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• Andy Kaufman's mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and they were both satisfied!

  Jerry Lawler

  Girl, Mom, Father

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• You never really know a woman till you meet her in court.

  Jerry Lawler

  Wrestling, Court, Pro Wrestling

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• Michael Cole, what did you get for Christmas? Except drunk.

  Jerry Lawler

  Wwe, Drunk

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• I'm not a racist like Bret Hart, I hate everyone equally!

  Jerry Lawler

  Hate, Racist, Hart

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• When God said 'Let there be light', Mae Young threw the switch.

  Jerry Lawler

  Light, Said, Young

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• Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick.

  Jerry Lawler

  Wrestling, Sea, Sick

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• Speaking of birthday suits, I think Mae Young's needs ironing!

  Jerry Lawler

  Thinking, Wwe, Needs

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• The Dudleys are going to get the VIP treatment this Sunday-- Very Intense Pain!

  Jerry Lawler

  Pain, Sunday, Vip

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• You lost weight? Look around, you'll find it.

  Jerry Lawler

  Wwe, Looks, Weight

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• If at first you don't succeed, see if there is a prize for the losers.

  Jerry Lawler

  Firsts, Succeed, Loser

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• How could Triple H EVER be mad, how could he EVER have a bad day? How would you like to be married to her?! Wake up in a wonderful mood every morning. I mean, look at that!

  Jerry Lawler

  Morning, Mean, Bad Day

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• Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

  Jerry Lawler

  Naughty, Wwe, Insulted

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