I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.
Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.
What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I want to go to a really posh travel agent and have them organize everything for me. I don't want to do things on the Internet.
I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair. I got my mother's thin, wispy, non-event hair instead.
There should be more booing in shops and restaurants and places like that when when the service is bad. If you've had a poor breakfast in a hotel, you should put your knife and fork down and boo.
I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.
I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in some respects.
I love fashion, but I don't come from a background of loving clothes, and I remember feeling badly dressed from a young age.
I am best viewed from a distance.
My daughter has always had a strong sense of her own identity. From the day she was born her father and I were in love with and in awe of her and still are.
I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager.
I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice.
As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking.
I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid.
Family is the one thing that is definitely not disposable.
I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards.
After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad's Army shirts, accessorised by a cat's basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga.
I prefer highs and lows to an even keel. Moderation is never something I've been good at.
I've got this horrible feeling that I'm one of those people who'll always have to flog their guts out to get anywhere.
I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.
If I do go to the beach there have to be certain rules: it can't be a pebbly beach, there has to be some shade and there has to be a beach bar. I don't want to go off the beaten track.
Women are more emotional, and it's natural to talk about it.
I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It's because I'm freelance, and I've never had a proper job. I don't have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me.
As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.
Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.
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