Carlos Mencia Quotes

Quotes about:

• The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.

  Carlos Mencia

  Stupid, People, World

  8 Copy quote

• Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.

  Carlos Mencia

  Song, Stupid, Mean

  "Mind of Mencia". Sketch-comedy Series, 2005-2008.

  16 Copy quote

• If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

  Carlos Mencia

  Baby, Laughing, Ifs

  FaceBook post by Carlos Mencia from Feb 08, 2012

  18 Copy quote

• America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.

  Carlos Mencia

  Country, America, People

  10 Copy quote

• When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.

  Carlos Mencia

  Rapper, White, People

  "Mind of Mencia". Comedy Series, 2005 - 2008.

  16 Copy quote

• I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

  Carlos Mencia

  Taught Us, People, Swim

  "New Orleans Web Denizens Steamed Over Mencia's Orpheus Invite" by Lauren List, www.mardigras.com. February 05, 2009.

  19 Copy quote

• God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

  Carlos Mencia

  Believe, People, Looks

  9 Copy quote

• I was born in Honduras, that's where I was born. I live in California, where no matter what you say, you're Mexican. You understand that? It doesn't matter what you say. See - you don't understand that, white people, because wherever you go, you're white. You're here, you're white. You go to L. A., you're white. You go to Denver, you're white. You go to Miami, you're still white. In L. A. I'm a Mexican, In Florida, I'm a Cuban. In New York, I'm a Puerto Rican. And when I come to Canada and I find out I'm an Eskimo.

  Carlos Mencia

  New York, Florida, California

  20 Copy quote

• I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

  Carlos Mencia

  America, Water, Swim

  15 Copy quote

• If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that. Now I tell people.

  Carlos Mencia

  People, East, Way

  "A Comedian’s Act Is Leaner but Not Meaner". Interview with Joel Keller, www.nytimes.com. November 25, 2011.

  19 Copy quote

• When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

  Carlos Mencia

  Ghetto, White, People

  "Mind of Mencia", www.imdb.com. (2005-).

  39 Copy quote

• We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

  Carlos Mencia

  Labor Day, Celebrate, Going To Work

  "Mind of Mencia". Sketch-comedy Series, www.imdb.com. 2005-2008.

  12 Copy quote

• If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!

  Carlos Mencia

  Laughing, Ifs

  5 Copy quote

• I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

  Carlos Mencia

  People, Holocaust, Needs

  "Mind of Mencia". Sketch-comedy Series, 2005-2008.

  17 Copy quote

• Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.

  Carlos Mencia

  Father, America, Nebraska

  16 Copy quote

• Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.

  Carlos Mencia

  Fun, Racism, Exclusion

  9 Copy quote

• I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.

  Carlos Mencia

  Moving, Compassion, People

  7 Copy quote

• My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.

  Carlos Mencia

  Simple, People, Simplicity

  Source: www.nj.com

  11 Copy quote

• Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

  Carlos Mencia

  Girl, Teacher, Years

  "Mind of Mencia". Sketch-comedy Series, 2005-2008.

  7 Copy quote

• When I go onstage, I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth. It's one of those questions where any and everything is possible. I literally could be talking about somebody I was hanging out with two seconds ago or something from the news. Literally, there's really no rhyme or reason for it. I want to be free flowing like that.

  Carlos Mencia

  Talking, Two, News

  13 Copy quote

• Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious.

  Carlos Mencia

  Aunt, Race, Car

  9 Copy quote

• If your gonna drop out of school / tough grades are not your goal / then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.

  Carlos Mencia

  School, Names, Goal

  TV Series "Mind of Mencia", www.imdb.com. (2005– ).

  9 Copy quote

• If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous people that got banged by some Spaniards. That's why you have names like Kwan Ping Del Toro.

  Carlos Mencia

  Names, People, Community

  10 Copy quote

• Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.

  Carlos Mencia

  Inspirational, Ashamed, Knows

  8 Copy quote

• We dropped two bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and the name of the plane that delivered the weapons was the Enola Gay. Do you know why? Because we wanted them to know that they were about to get boned in the ass.

  Carlos Mencia

  Gay, Names, Two

  4 Copy quote

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