Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.
When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.
If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.
If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.
The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.
Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.
Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.
Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.
As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.
Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.
In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.
A neighbor will stand at your door talking for 20 minutes because she doesn't have time to come in.
The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.
The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.
Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands - and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.
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