Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys.. we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!
I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs. Because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Music played a large role in the survival of the black people in America — that and a sense of humor that just couldn't be enslaved.
This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.
The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.
If you can see the handwriting on the wall ... you're on the toilet.
I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.
You make me wish that birth control was retroactive.
I ain't from Africa. I'm from St. Louis.
Sanford and Son is more than just a name. It's a condition, a dynasty, an empire. This here is the finest pile of junk of the world.
Junk runs in the family. My granddad was a junk man in St. Louis and so was my uncle.
Certain things should be yours to have when you work your way to the top.
I'm a Sagittarian, see, I can't be fenced in. I been living in Las Vegas, greatest city in the world. I look out my window for 100 miles. In Vegas, there's nothing to do but gamble, drink or have sex. I have two of 'em.
The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn't remind you of anything.
A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.
I've been trying to get into the Royal Box in New York for years. They say I'm too dirty, my material is too blue. But I think Redd, the whites and blue can be a nice combination.
The show doesn't drive home a lesson, but it can open up people's minds enough for them to see how stupid every kind of prejudice can be.
It's some chopped liver. That's Jewish soul food.
Hey! Leave the door open will ya? The flies haven't been out all day.
I'm convinced that Sanford and Son shows middle-class America a lot of what they need to know.
What's an archive, son? Is that anything like a closet?
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