Mitch Hedberg Quotes About Waiting

Quotes about: Waiting

• I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Wine, Humor

  Live album: "Mitch All Together". Track 3 "Not Track Five, Not Chainsaw Juggler", December 9, 2003.

• I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction! We don't need to bring ink and paper into this! I can't imagine a scenario where I'd have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend...'Don't even act like I didn't buy that doughnut! I've got the documentation right here! Oh, wait, it's back home, in the file. Under d...for doughnut.'

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Home, Humor

• I can't wait to get off the stage, because I've got some LifeSavers in my pocket and pineapple is next!

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Waiting

• You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start calling out names, "DuFresnes, party of two." They say again, "DuFresnes, party of two." But then if no one answers, they'll just go to the next name, "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! And they're hungry! That's a double whammy! "Bush, search party of three!" You can eat once you find the DuFresnes!

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Party, Humor

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