Mitch Hedberg Quotes About Water

Quotes about: Water

• My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Leadership, Sarcastic

  "Mitch All Together". Live album by Mitch Hedberg, December 9, 2003.

• I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

• I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It’s a strange piece of machinery . . . We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And I’ll be damned if I’m not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Thinking, Water, Mouths

• I saw a commercial for an above-ground pool, it was 30 seconds long. Because that's the maximum amount of time you can picture yourself having fun in an above-ground pool. If it was 31 seconds, the actor would say "The water is only up to here? What do I do now? Throw the ball back to Jimmy? Or put some goggles on and look at his feet?"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Feet

• There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this." Who would make their plants hard to reach? That seems so very mean. I know you need water, but I'm going to make you hard to reach. "Think like a cactus!"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Mean

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