Bill Hicks Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• That's starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama.

  Bill Hicks

  Depressing, Alabama, Facts

  18 Copy quote

• It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

  Bill Hicks

  Jesus, Real, Smoking

  "Bill Hicks: Revelations". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1993.

  24 Copy quote

• I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Humor, Revolutionary Ideas

  9 Copy quote

• Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.

  Bill Hicks

  Nuts, Plot, Keith

  "Love All the People".

  14 Copy quote

• I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we'll never age, we'll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah... it's just not enough is it?

  Bill Hicks

  Dream, Fall, Men

  18 Copy quote

• I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'

  Bill Hicks

  Years, Clubs, Idiot

  25 Copy quote

• What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!.

  Bill Hicks

  Boys, Light, Sun

  10 Copy quote

• The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.

  Bill Hicks

  Book, Reading, Waffles

  "Dangerous". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1990.

  35 Copy quote

• It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.

  Bill Hicks

  Insane World, Insane, World

  23 Copy quote

• When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Humor, Two

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  26 Copy quote

• If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.

  Bill Hicks

  Thinking, Cds, Political

  63 Copy quote

• I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Humor, Glasses

  20 Copy quote

• I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, War, Humor

  Bill Hicks at the "Just For Laughs" Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, 1990.

  29 Copy quote

• Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.

  Bill Hicks

  Mistake, Marijuana, Law

  "Chicago '91". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1991.

  10 Copy quote

• I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.

  Bill Hicks

  Believe, Order, Purpose

  7 Copy quote

• Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America... you are free to do as we tell you... you are free to do as we tell you.

  Bill Hicks

  Government, America, Bed

  9 Copy quote

• I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.

  Bill Hicks

  Believe, Drug, Growing

  44 Copy quote

• Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick--'You hate this country'....I have to tell him...I just hate being lied to.

  Bill Hicks

  Country, Dad, Hate

  8 Copy quote

• I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

  Bill Hicks

  Happiness, Laughter, Revolutionary Ideas

  Bill Hicks (2009). “Love All the People (New Edition)”, p.336, Hachette UK

  12 Copy quote

• I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.

  Bill Hicks

  Dad, Believe, People

  "Filling Up the Hump". Audio bootleg, 1993.

  15 Copy quote

• That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.

  Bill Hicks

  Drug, Facts, Psychedelic

  13 Copy quote

• I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.

  Bill Hicks

  Giving, Ego, Chance

  7 Copy quote

• To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.

  Bill Hicks

  America, People, Weapons

  11 Copy quote

• I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

  Bill Hicks

  Artist, Perception, Western Culture

  13 Copy quote

• I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor - even President, it seemed. And for the first time in the history of mankind, something new, called an astronaut. But like so many kids brought up on a steady diet of Westerns, I always wanted to be the avenging cowboy hero - that lone voice in the wilderness, fighting corruption and evil wherever I found it, and standing for freedom, truth and justice. And in my heart of hearts I still track the remnants of that dream wherever I go, in my endless ride into the setting sun.

  Bill Hicks

  Dream, Hero, Heart

  "Bill Hicks: Revelations". Documentary, Comedy, 1993.

  35 Copy quote

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