My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.
You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
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