The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.
In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.
Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.
"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? "
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son
My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.
A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.
I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.
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