The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.
We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.
Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? "
The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son
Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.
Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.
Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
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