Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.
The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.
The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.
The charm of television entertainment is its ability to bridge the chasm between dinner and bedtime without mental distraction.
Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear.
A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems.
Americans like fat books and thin women.
Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.
Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
The worst thing about the miracle of modern communications is the Pavlovian pressure it places upon everyone to communicate whenever a bell rings.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.
In writing, punctuation plays the role of body language. It helps readers hear you the way you want to be heard.
It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.
Except for politics, no business is scrutinized more exhaustively than journalism.
It is fitting that yesteryear's swashbuckling newspaper reporter has turned into today's solemn young sobersides nursing a glass of watered white wine after a day of toiling over computer databases in a smoke-free, noise-free newsroom.
Serious journalism need not be solemn.
A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.
There was scarcely a woman alive, it seemed, who could resist the urge to haul men down onto beds, car seats, kitchen floors, dining-room tables, park grass, parlor sofas, or packing crates, entwine warm thighs around them, and pant in ecstasy.
Scientists have been struck by the fact that things that break down virtually never get lost, while things that get lost hardly ever break down.
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.
When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools.
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