Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?
Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!
I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
I'm Liberace without a piano.
Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household.
A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.
When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars.
Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?
I cant stand those food cult people who bring their own food into the house. All those little thermoses and paper bags-it makes the other guests uncomfortable.
I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.
A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world.
My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of that.
My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.
Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.
Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I've never found an easy way.
My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business.
Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.
If I'm not working, I don't know what to do.
The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name.
I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly.
I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.
I laughed all the way through Love Story.
Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.
It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.
I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
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