Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.
Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.
Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.
Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished?
Too many rocks in the mountains.
Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.
Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.
Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.
Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.
The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.
A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.
My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to your children over a period of many years. This is why your parents started to get so stupid just at the time in your life when you were getting really smart.
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?
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