I don't really have a realistic life. Anyway, I am a schizophrenic so there two persons in me. Because I am the person I put on for the public and the person that I am really . . . deep inside me. So I have to cover it all up with . . . glamour and all that bullshit . . . make-up . . . glamour, dresses, color, etc., etc. . . . trying to hide a very . . . fragile person, really . . . very vulnerable to attack.