Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
If all be true that I do think, There are five reasons we should drink: Good wine - a friend - or being dry - Or lest we should be by and by - Or any other reason why.
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
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