Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.
There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.
Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.
Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third.
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.
One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams.
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
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