Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
A cocktail will never be better than its cheapest ingredient.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.
Life's just a cocktail party - on the street.
Cocktails are society's most enduring invention!
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about.
Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.
Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends