There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them.
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
A cocktail will never be better than its cheapest ingredient.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.
Cocktails are society's most enduring invention!
There are two kinds of people in this world: Michael Jackson fans and losers.
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
When I made my theoretical model, I could not have guessed that people would try to realise it with Molotov cocktails.
They want to go to the bar and eat a few snacks, have a couple of cocktails or glasses of wine, and go home. People don't sit down at the table and have a whole three or four courses.
Sibelius justified the austerity of his old age by saying that while other composers were engaged in manufacturing cocktails, he offered the public pure cold water.
Whereas most other modern composers are engaged in manufacturing cocktails of every hue and description, I offer the public pure cold water.
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