Divorce Lawyers Quotes

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.

Margaret Atwood

Broken Heart, Lost Love, Divorce

Quoted in Time, 19 Mar. 1973

90 Copy quote

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A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Jean Kerr

Jobs, Divorce, Friendly

Jean Kerr (1965). “Mary, Mary”, p.33, Dramatists Play Service Inc

98 Copy quote

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Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.

Craig Ferguson

Fear, Divorce, Knowing

7 Copy quote
A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book.

Marvin Mitchelson

Book, Divorce, Law

30 Copy quote
My husband taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Funny, Life, Witty

"Wit and wisdom: Zsa Zsa Gabor's best and most memorable quotes". www.theguardian.com. December 19, 2016.

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When people divorce, it's always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse.

Monica Bellucci

Divorce, People, Tragedy

42 Copy quote
The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.

John Kenneth Galbraith

Divorce, Firsts, Life Is

12 Copy quote
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

Robert Anderson

Love, Inspirational, Anniversary

62 Copy quote
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

Jack Benny

Love, Funny, Relationship

73 Copy quote
If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.

Mignon McLaughlin

Love, Anniversary, Marriage

Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.24, BookBaby

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I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters.

Susan B. Anthony

Mean, Divorce, Men

14 Copy quote
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

Jean Kerr

Inspirational, Life, Marriage

Jean Kerr (1965). “Mary, Mary”, p.19, Dramatists Play Service Inc

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In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity.

Lauren Bacall

Women, Party, Memorable

11 Copy quote
Divorce is simply modern society's version of medieval torture. Except it lasts longer and leaves deeper scars. A divorce releases the most primitive emotions; the ugliest, raw feelings. Emotionally wounded people do their best to inflict pain upon the other party, but rather than using claws they use divorce lawyers.

William Shatner

Pain, Party, Divorce

William Shatner (2009). “Up Till Now”, p.136, Pan Macmillan

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A 99-year-old man is filing for divorce from his 96-year-old wife, making them the world's oldest divorced couple. It's got to be weird when a divorce lawyer is fighting for your kids to get custody of you.

Jimmy Fallon

Couple, Kids, Divorce

14 Copy quote
Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.

Robert Orben

Valentine, Divorce, Cards

5 Copy quote
How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes, we'd profit from them.

Lucille Ball

Love, Mistake, Divorce

10 Copy quote
In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.

Garry Trudeau

Spring, Divorce, Thinking

55 Copy quote
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.

Bob Hope

Funny, Country, Humorous

6 Copy quote