When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
They who drink beer will think beer.
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Good people drink good beer.
Fill with mingled cream and amber, I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber Through the chamber of my brain — Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies Come to life and fade away; What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
Homer no function beer well without.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
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