If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
Beer ... a high and mighty liquor.
A little bit of beer is divine medicine.
There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern.
I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.
No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.
An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.
Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same.
Let a man walk ten miles steadily on a hot summer's day along a dusty English road, and he will soon discover why beer was invented.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
He who loves not wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long.
Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
I drink to make other people interesting.
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