For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
Whatever with the past has gone, The best is always yet to come.
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
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