Funny Inspirational Quotes - Page 10

• I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life, Work

  15 Copy quote

• There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.

  Leonard Barnes

  Truth, Littles

  9 Copy quote

• I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Money, Motivation

  52 Copy quote

• Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

  Phyllis Diller

  Mom, Witty, Funny Life

  Phyllis Diller (2006). “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy”, p.81, Penguin

  14 Copy quote

  Show source

• I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

  Carl Sandburg

  Funny, Life, Motivational

  Incidentals (1907) p. 8

  58 Copy quote

  Show source

• It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.

  Eugene Ionesco

  Funny, Education, Teaching

  "Choosing the Future: The Power of Strategic Thinking". Book by Stuart Wells, p. 15, 1997.

  81 Copy quote

  Show source

• Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

  Martin Fowler

  Inspirational, Funny, Humorous

  Jay Fields, Shane Harvie, Martin Fowler, Kent Beck (2009). “Refactoring: Ruby Edition”, p.36, Pearson Education

  82 Copy quote

  Show source

• The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Memories, Philosophical, Optimistic

  Friedrich Nietzsche “Writings of Nietzsche: Volume III”, Lulu.com

  45 Copy quote

  Show source

• Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.

  Steve Martin

  Inspirational, Funny, Perseverance

  49 Copy quote

• I'm not confused. I'm just well mixed.

  Robert Frost

  Love, Life, Confused

  31 Copy quote

• Girls have got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all.

  Joan Jett

  Funny, Girl, Littles

  Twitter post from Nov 10, 2013

  92 Copy quote

  Show source
• 

  Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him.

  Dwight D. Eisenhower

  Life, Change, Wise

  1952 In Time, 6 Oct.

  110 Copy quote

  Show source

• Free your mind and your ass will follow

  George Clinton

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  George Clinton (2014). “Brothas Be, Yo Like George, Ain't That Funkin' Kinda Hard On You?: A Memoir”, p.360, Simon and Schuster

  98 Copy quote

  Show source

• A good time for laughing is when you can.

  Jessamyn West

  Inspirational, Funny, Laughing

  7 Copy quote
• 

  A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

  Steve Martin

  Funny, Witty, Laughter

  FaceBook post by Steve Martin from Jun 14, 2011

  121 Copy quote

  Show source

• There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.

  Terry Pratchett

  Opposites, People, Sides

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Guards! Guards!: (Discworld Novel 8)”, p.177, Random House

  42 Copy quote

  Show source

• It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

  Dave Barry (2013). “My Teenage Son's Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old: and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry”, p.100, Andrews McMeel Publishing

  93 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere

  Henry A. Kissinger

  Inspiring, Success, Baseball

  137 Copy quote

• I'll go anywhere as long as it's forward.

  David Livingstone

  Inspirational, Funny, Change

  223 Copy quote

• Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.

  Napoleon Hill

  Motivational, Encouraging, Perseverance

  Dr. Robert C. Worstell, Dorothea Brande, Eark Nightingale, Claude M. Bristol, Napoleon Hill (2017). “Mindset StackingTM Inspirational Journal VolumeSS02”, p.148, Lulu.com

  71 Copy quote

  Show source

• People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Crazy

  21 Copy quote

• There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.

  Jeph Jacques

  Inspirational, Funny, Two

  13 Copy quote

• I meant what I said and I said what I meant.

  Dr. Seuss

  Inspirational, Life, Green Eggs And Ham

  Horton Hatches the Egg (1940). Ellipsis in the original.

  20 Copy quote

  Show source

• Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

  Albert Einstein

  Inspirational, Life, Spiritual

  100 Copy quote

• Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Love, Life, Relationship

  92 Copy quote