Funny Love Quotes - Page 8

• I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

  Mickey Rooney

  Funny, Marriage, Men

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• But even if we take matrimony at its lowest, even if we regard it as no more than a sort of friendship recognised by the police, there must be degrees in the freedom and sympathy realised, and some principle to guide simple folk in their selection.

  Robert Louis Stevenson

  Marriage, Police, Lost Friendship

  "Memories, Portraits, Essays and Records".

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• In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that - oh, who cares?

  Amy Poehler

  Love, Valentines Day, Who Cares

  "Weekend Update with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler". Saturday Night Live, Season 30: Episode 13, snltranscripts.jt.org. February 19, 2005.

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• My wife's nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don't notice it any more.

  Tom Arnold

  Love, Airports, Wife

  19 Copy quote

• Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.

  Groucho Marx

  Silly, Writing, Week

  "Fictional character: Wolf J. Flywheel". "The Big Store", 1941.

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• Respectable people do not write music or make love as a career.

  Alexander Borodin

  Writing, Careers, People

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• Don't forget I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

  Julia Roberts

  Love, Movie, Romantic

  98 Copy quote

• I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Cute, Boyfriend

  53 Copy quote

• Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

  Joey Adams

  Funny, Marriage, Witty

  Joey Adams (1957). “Cindy and I: The Real Life Adventures of Mr. and Mrs. Joey Adams”

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• Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

  Joan Rivers

  Funny, Life, Witty

  "Joan Rivers obituary" by Michael Carlson, www.theguardian.com. September 04, 2014.

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• Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

  Natasha Leggero

  Love You, Romantic Love, Love Is

  Twitter post from Nov 17, 2011

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• My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.

  Elayne Boosler

  Brother, Love You, Gay

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• I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.

  Jack Benny

  Love You, Romantic Love, Meetings

  34 Copy quote

• I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Thank You, Valentines Day, Clever

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• The world's tragedy is that men love women, women love children, and children love hamsters.

  Joanna Trollope

  Love, Children, Men

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• The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.

  Rumi

  Love, Anniversary, Marriage

  Rumi (2015). “Selected Poems”, p.148, Penguin UK

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• First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint the second time.

  Honore de Balzac

  First Love, Love Is, Men

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• Well, you know, the definition of second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

  George Will

  Marriage, Definitions, Triumph

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• The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M.

  Charlie Pierce

  Love, Funny, Marriage

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• Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

  Billy Connolly

  Marriage, Wedding, Cycling

  Twitter post from Sep 12, 2011

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• 

  Love is the magician that pulls him out of his own hat.

  Ben Hecht

  Love, Valentines Day, Men

  "A Child of the Century".

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• Women love a self-confident bald man.

  Larry David

  Love You, Romantic Love, Men

  "Larry David: The Man Behind Seinfeld". The Laugh Factory Magazine Interview, www.laughfactory.com. April 1994.

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• Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Cute, Marriage, War

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• People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

  Bob Hope

  Love, Kissing, Lazy People

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

  Elbert Hubbard

  Marriage, Mistake, College

  55 Copy quote