Halloween Jokes Quotes

• A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

  Erma Bombeck

  Relationship, Fun, Halloween

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  Where there is no imagination there is no horror.

  Arthur Conan Doyle

  Halloween, Imagination, Scary

  Study in Scarlet (1888) ch. 5

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• I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

  Charles S. Swartz

  Fun, Halloween, Scary

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• Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen, Voices whisper in the trees, "Tonight is Halloween!"

  Dexter Kozen

  Halloween, Years, Voice

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• On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Halloween, Humor

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• This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.

  Conan O'Brien

  Funny, Halloween, Sound

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• Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it’s like an excuse for Halloween everyday.

  Gwen Stefani

  Halloween, Band, Want

  "Gwen Stefani Rocked The Sheer Trend Back In The ‘90s" by Amanda McGowan, www.huffingtonpost.com. November 20, 2012.

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• Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.

  Steve Almond

  Beautiful, Halloween, Night

  Steve Almond (2004). “Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America”, p.32, Algonquin Books

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• Bring forth the raisins and the nuts-
  Tonight All-Hallows' Spectre struts
  Along the moonlit way.

  John Kendrick Bangs

  Halloween, Nuts, Way

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  Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!

  William Shakespeare

  Halloween, Memorable, Play

  'Macbeth' (1606) act 4, sc. 1, l. 4

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• Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat."

  Rita Rudner

  Halloween, Doors, People

  "Jokes over easy: 1,386 delicious jokes from the best comedians" by Judy Brown, Barnes & Noble, (p. 112), 2006.

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• There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people...religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin!

  Charles M. Schulz

  Halloween, People, Three

  "Fictional character: Linus van Pelt". "Peanuts" comic strip by Charles M. Schulz, October 25, 1961.

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• Pixie, kobold, elf, and sprite,
  All are on their rounds tonight;
  In the wan moon's silver ray,
  Thrives their helter-skelter play.

  Joel Benton

  Halloween, Moon, Play

  Joel Benton, “Halloween”

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• Hobgoblins know the proper way to dance: Arms akimbo, loopy legs askew, Leaping into darkness with delight, Lusting for the ecstasy of fright, Open to the charm of horrors new.

  Nick Gordon

  Halloween, Darkness, Lust

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• My candle was nearly burnt out, when, by the glimmer of the half-extinguished light, I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open.

  Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

  Halloween, Eye, Light

  Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1823). “Frankenstein: ; Or, The Modern Prometheus”, p.97, DOSER Reads

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• A gypsy fire is on the hearth, Sign of the carnival of mirth; Through the dun fields and from the glade Flash merry folk in masquerade, For this is Hallowe'en!

  Jerry Smith

  Halloween, Heart, Fire

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• Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

  Edgar Allan Poe

  Love, Dream, Art

  "The Raven" l. 25 (1845)

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• Never take candy from strangers.

  Rita Rudner

  Halloween, Candy Corn, Stranger

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• Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

  William Shakespeare

  Dog, Powerful, Halloween

  'Macbeth' (1606) act 4, sc. 1, l. 14

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• Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the "spirits" of things.

  Dee Snider

  Halloween, Scary, House

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• 'Tis the night - the night Of the grave's delight.

  Arthur Cleveland Coxe

  Halloween, Night, Delight

  Arthur Cleveland Coxe (1842). “Halloween: A Romaunt”, p.13

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• Tis now the very witching time of night, when churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out Contagion to this world.

  William Shakespeare

  Halloween, Night, Denmark In Hamlet

  'Hamlet' (1601) act 3, sc. 2, l. [413]

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• Tis the night - the night
  Of the grave's delight,
  And the warlocks are at their play;
  Ye think that without
  The wild winds shout,
  But no, it is they - it is they.

  Arthur Cleveland Coxe

  Halloween, Night, Thinking

  Arthur Cleveland Coxe (1842). “Halloween: A Romaunt”, p.13

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• There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

  Jean Baudrillard

  Funny, Sarcastic, Revenge

  Jean Baudrillard (1989). “America”, p.48, Verso

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• Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on.

  River Phoenix

  Halloween, Acting, Haunting

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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