I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out.
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.
I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.
The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
Swing hard in case you hit it.
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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