Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
Until we meet again, may the good Lord take a liking to you.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Beer is proof that God loves us.
When I get a very generous introduction like that I explain that I'm emotionally moved, but on the other hand I'm Irish and the Irish are very emotionally moved. My mother is Irish and she cries during beer commercials.
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way?
Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean...Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.
When money's tight and is hard to get And your horse has also ran, When all you have is a heap of debt A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.
St. Patrick... one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
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