Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
Until we meet again, may the good Lord take a liking to you.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
When money's tight and is hard to get And your horse has also ran, When all you have is a heap of debt A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.
God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.
I would give all of my fame for a pot of ale and safety.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.
Beer is proof that God loves us.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
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