Jokes Quotes - Page 10

• When you making a piece of comedy entertainment, the audience is a big component there. You do have to end up getting rid of things that you love, but in the interest of making a movie that's not longer than two hours, and in the interest of when every joke hopefully is good enough, then everybody looks good. You cut things that you love, but ultimately it's for the greater good of making the whole movie better.

  Jason H. Moore

  Cutting, Two, Looks

  Source: collider.com

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• Overseas, language barriers keep me from doing a lot of talking and some of the jokes that I think are funny and they're like crickets. I have to sharpen up on that.

  Avery Sunshine

  Thinking, Talking, Language Barriers

  Source: youknowigotsoul.com

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• I understand what a normal political speech is. You get up there, tell a few jokes, you have the flags behind you, and you speak for 10 or 15 minutes in broad generalities.

  Bernie Sanders

  Political, Flags, Speech

  "Bernie Sanders on politics, Clinton and guns". Interview with Dan Roberts, www.theguardian.com. December 18, 2015.

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• I got kind of scared when I thought they wanted me to do something... I didn't want to be naked on the front of a magazine unless everybody would know it was a joke. I wouldn't want to be naked even then.

  Dolly Parton

  Naked, Magazines, Want

  Source: blankonblank.org

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• Cubans joke and satirize everything that life gives them, and I think that's a positive characteristic.

  Fernando Perez

  Thinking, Giving, Cuban

  Source: www.guernicamag.com

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• I don't think I would be a good politician. I kid about it when I get a standing ovation. Sometimes I'll say, "I may run for Governor," but it's strictly a joke.

  Liberace

  Running, Kids, Thinking

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• Korean feminism has been swept away by popular culture. It became a sort of old-fashioned trend or a joke.

  Kim Hyesoon

  Feminism, Trends, Culture

  Source: www.guernicamag.com

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• If you can make it sound exciting with a joke drum machine, you know you've got something.

  Jeff Beck

  Sound, Machines, Exciting

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• I end up feeling like a spy in the house of ethnicity, you know? Because people will talk around me as they would talk around the people in their cultural group. So I get to hear all the secrets and jokes and you know, I'm a part of every community because of the way I look.

  Sherman Alexie

  Ethnicity, People, House

  Source: www.truth-out.org

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• Stand-up in general is the most raw form of entertainment. There is no pyrotechnics or back-up dancers, it's just live and die by your jokes, that's it.

  Dustin Diamond

  Dancer, Entertainment, Form

  "Interviews: Celebrities from 1980s to Beyond at 'The Hollywood Show'". Interview with Patrick McDonald, www.hollywoodchicago.com. September 6, 2012.

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• I've heard the joke a million times that "Jews in Sports" must be the thinnest book in the world. Actually, I've seen a lot of great players working at the Maccabi Games.

  Dolph Schayes

  Sports, Book, Player

  Source: alanpaul.net

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• I really wouldn't censor myself. But because it was on such a slower scale, I would throw things out, and I indulged the personal stuff as little flashes of truth. Little in-jokes for anyone who was paying particular attention.

  John Hodgman

  Attention, Littles, Stuff

  Interview with Greg Hunter, therumpus.net. October 21, 2013.

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• Fame is a big joke. Stars need to stop taking themselves so seriously.

  Avril Lavigne

  Stars, Needs, Fame

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• I was photographing the photographer Brassaï. He had very prominent eyes, like a frog's. As I focused my lens, he brought his hand up and pretended to focus his eye. It was a joke, but it added mystery to the picture. There's a sense of action in a very small world. Or with Allen Ginsberg there were people smoking cigarettes and in the smoke there's a sense of motion. It makes much out of very little.

  John Loengard

  Eye, Hands Up, People

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• I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.

  Chris Rock

  School, Thinking, Rocks

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• I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path and then trap them.

  Paul Mooney

  People, Path, Traps

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• Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. I may joke about knowing fear, but the fact is, the first time I ever knew real fear was the day Charlotte, my first child, was born. Suddenly there is someone in the world you care about more than anything.

  Harlan Coben

  Children, Real, Heart

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• Being anti-war in Hollywood was an act of bravery on the order of the keynote speaker at a PLO dinner making jokes about Ariel Sharon.

  Ann Coulter

  War, Order, Bravery

  Ann Coulter (2003). “Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism”, p.317, Crown Forum

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• I make terrible jokes every time I go into a hospital. I think it's a defence mechanism.

  Sanjeev Bhaskar

  Thinking, Terrible, Defence

  "My body & soul". Interview with Laura Potter, www.theguardian.com. May 30, 2009.

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• Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.

  Kathy Griffin

  Forgiving, Different, Clubs

  Interview with Stephen Thompson, www.avclub.com. February 11, 1998.

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• I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Strong, Years, Political

  "Gottfried's key to political humor" by Patrick Gavin, www.politico.com. August 2, 2013.

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• Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Nice, Kids, Blue

  "If you don't want to hear an edgy joke, don't listen" By Gilbert Gottfried, www.cnn.com. July 16, 2012.

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• Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, This is where I wanna be.

  Patton Oswalt

  Fire, Comedian, Sitting

  "Patton Oswalt: The ESQ&A". Interview with Scott Raab, www.esquire.com. March 19, 2013.

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• Audiences of critical thinkers are my favorite kinds of audiences. There are jokes I tell in the show that don't get laughs unless I am in front of an audience of critical thinkers. Put me in front of a crowd of science teachers or astronauts! The guileless aren't our audience - it's the critical thinkers we love.

  Adam Savage

  Teacher, Laughing, Crowds

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• I was at a photo shoot, and I was wearing a cross necklace that my mom bought me, and somebody made a joke like, 'Why are you wearing a cross? Like you would be religious.' And then they took it away. I was really affected by that. The whole thing made me realize that I do want a cross with me at all times.

  Kate Upton

  Mom, Religious, Would Be

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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