Sarcasm Quotes - Page 3

• Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Life, Sarcastic, Wisdom

  46 Copy quote

• Stay with me; I want to be alone

  Joey Lauren Adams

  Sarcastic, Want, Stay With Me

  14 Copy quote

• Death will be a great relief. No more interviews.

  Katharine Hepburn

  Death, Sarcastic, Relief

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• 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humorous

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• Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

  Russell Lynes

  Sarcastic, Wise, Stupid

  22 Copy quote

• A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Motivational, Business

  Mark Twain, R. Kent Rasmussen (1997). “The quotable Mark Twain: his essential aphorisms, witticisms & concise opinions”, McGraw-Hill/Contemporary

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• Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Sarcastic, Sex

  Notebook, 1894

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• The spirit of sarcasm lives and thrives in the midst of universal wreck; its balls are enchanted and itself invulnerable, and it braves retaliations and reprisals because itself is a mere flash, a bodiless and magical nothing.

  Henri Frederic Amiel

  Brave, Balls, Wrecks

  Entry for February 16, 1868, "The Journal Intime of Henri-Frédéric Amiel", Book by Henri-Frédéric Amiel, translated by Mary Augusta Ward, 1882.

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• Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

  Fyodor Dostoevsky

  Sarcastic, People, Soul

  Fyodor Dostoevsky (2013). “The Greatest Works of Dostoevsky: Crime and Punishment + The Brother's Karamazov + The Idiot + Notes from Underground + The Gambler + Demons (The Possessed / The Devils)”, p.2157, e-artnow

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• Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.

  Jonathan Swift

  Sarcastic, Glasses, Gulliver

  'The Battle of the Books' (1704) preface

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• All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

  Evan Esar

  Funny, Work, Boys

  102 Copy quote

• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  50 Copy quote

• Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own; which is the chief reason for that kind reception it meets with in the world, and that so very few are offended with it.

  Jonathan Swift

  Glasses, Faces, World

  Jonathan Swift (2013). “The Very Best of Jonathan Swift In Plain and Simple English (Translated)”, p.534, BookCaps Study Guides

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• Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

  Drew Carey

  Funny, Sarcastic, Jobs

  47 Copy quote

• He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Friendship, Sarcastic

  "The Works of Oscar Wilde".

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• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Funny, Life, Hilarious

  130 Copy quote

• My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humble

  39 Copy quote

• Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm.

  Frank Dane

  Funny, Sarcastic, Politics

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• The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Sarcastic, Communication

  36 Copy quote

• I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

  Ludwig Wittgenstein

  Happiness, Sarcastic, Philosophy

  "The Beginning of the End" by Peter Hershey, (p. 109), 2004.

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• I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.

  Sarah Rees Brennan

  Sarcastic, Possession, Being Sarcastic

  Sarah Rees Brennan (2010). “The Demon's Covenant”, p.36, Simon and Schuster

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• You have delighted us long enough.

  Jane Austen

  Sarcastic, Witty, Long

  Pride and Prejudice ch. 18 (1813)

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• It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

  Paul Newman

  Sarcastic, Witty, Black

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• It is said that truth comes from the mouths of fools and children: I wish every good mind which feels an inclination for satire would reflect that the finest satirist always has something of both in him.

  Georg C. Lichtenberg

  Children, Mind, Wish

  "Aphorisms". Book by Georg Christoph Lichtenberg. Notebook J 157, 1799.

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• He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

  Victor Borge

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  63 Copy quote