Toilets Quotes - Page 8

• when I walk into an apartment with books on the shelves, books on the bedside tables, books on the floor, and books on the toilet tank, then I know what I would see if I opened the door that says Private - grownups keep out: a children sprawled on the bed, reading.

  Anne Fadiman

  Children, Book, Reading

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• It was not long after sunrise, and Stephen Waterman, fresh from his dip in the river, had scrambled up the hillside from the hut in the alder-bushes where he had made his morning toilet.

  Kate Douglas Wiggin

  Morning, Book, Rivers

  Kate Douglas Wiggin (2016). “HOMESPUN TALES TRILOGY: Rose o' the River, The Old Peabody Pew & Susanna and Sue (Illustrated): Three Small Town Novels in One Volume”, p.6, e-artnow

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• I was photographing every meal I ate, every person I met, every waiter or waitress who served me, every bed I slept in, every toilet I used.

  Stephen Shore

  Bed, Meals, Photographer

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• Like when I'm in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I'm like 'Wow! That's toilet paper?' I don't know if we appreciate how much we have.

  Alicia Silverstone

  Gratitude, Appreciate, Paper

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• My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.

  Jessica Hahn

  Mother, Dad, Used

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• The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard skin floor, wallpaper and toilet.

  Macy Gray

  House, Skins, Red

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• I don't think you can get away with putting your talents in a toilet bowl and not having them flushed away. Forever. There is a level of murder of one's soul and of the culture that they're supposed to be feeding vitamins to.

  Sean Penn

  Thinking, Forever, Soul

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• The Merchant, to Secure His Treasure The merchant, to secure his treasure, Conveys it in a borrowed name: Euphelia serves to grace my measure, But Cloe is my real flame. My softest verse, my darling lyre Upon Euphelia's toilet lay - When Cloe noted her desire That I should sing, that I should play. My lyre I tune, my voice I raise, But with my numbers mix my sighs; And whilst I sing Euphelia's praise, I fix my soul on Cloe's eyes. Fair Cloe blushed; Euphelia frowned: I sung, and gazed; I played, and trembled: And Venus to the Loves around Remarked how ill we all dissembled.

  Edgar Allan Poe

  Love, Real, Eye

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• You're asking the government to control individual morality. This is a government that can't buy a toilet seat for under $600.

  Peter McWilliams

  Government, Individual Morality, Toilet Seat

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• When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'

  Dylan Moran

  Children, Needs, Jam

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• It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.

  George Lindsey

  Stupidity, Paper, Saws

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• I am at a loss to figure out how to rid my e-mail of those bottom-feeders of the electronic world, the generators of spam.... If I were Emperor of the World, I would lock all the spammers in a room and force them to watch nothing but TV commercials for the rest of their miserable lives, and I would condemn the people who respond to spammers to do nothing but clean the toilets in this room.

  Richard Turner

  Loss, People, Mail

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• I have been photographing our toilet, that glossy enameled receptacle of extraordinary beauty. Here was every sensuous curve of the human figure divine but minus the imperfections. Never did the Greeks reach a more significant consummation to their culture, and it somehow reminded me, in the glory of its chaste convulsions and in its swelling, sweeping, forward movement of finely progressing contours, of the Victory of Samothrace.

  Edward Weston

  Home, Extraordinary Beauty, Curves

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• She used my toothbrush to clean the toilet.

  The Notorious B.I.G.

  Revenge, Clean, Retribution

  Song: Me and My Bitch

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• I just saw an ad the other day that I couldn't believe. There was this woman-and I think it's degrading to womankind-she was going out of her mind over a new product called "A Thousand Flushes." Here she was in her toilet, saying, "Oh, I love this product!" and, "My life is complete!" Good God-if your joy depends on "A Thousand Flushes," you're sick!

  Leo Buscaglia

  Believe, Thinking, Sick

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• I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

  Paula Poundstone

  Silly, Shoes, Paper

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• Beauty is that little something that fills the whole world, and is contained neither in a single straight nose, a long eyelash, nor a blue mountain. Some see it in a leg of mutton, others in a compound fracture; and to expect others to accept one's own definition of it is as absurd as to expect all humanity to use the same toilet-brush.

  William Morris Hunt

  Blue, Eyelashes, Long

  William Morris Hunt (1878). “W.M. Hunt's Talks about Art: With a Letter from J.E. Millais”

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• There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.

  Ade Edmondson

  Effectiveness, People, Doubt

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• I have the largest collection of Hulk memorabilia in the world - everything from toilet paper, wallpaper, bicycles - all boxed up at my house in Northern California. I've had it for so long, I think it might be time to sell it.

  Lou Ferrigno

  Thinking, California, Long

  "Lou Ferrigno looks back, and luckily not in anger". Interview with William Keck, usatoday30.usatoday.com. June 16, 2008.

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• I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.

  Joel Madden

  Paper, Toilet Paper, Thrown

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• When I have an idea, I share it with everyone. People say someone will steal my idea, but it's not like I invented something that will replace the toilet. I tell people to get their feedback. Will they buy it, help me improve it, or tell me it's already been done? If someone else is excited, he or she might buy into the business.

  Cameron Johnson

  Ideas, People, Done

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• I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

  John Swartzwelder

  Couple, Bills, Should

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• An OBE is what you get if you clean the toilets well at King's Cross station.

  Michael Winner

  Kings, Clean, Crosses

  "Winner shuns 'toilet-cleaner OBE'", news.bbc.co.uk. May 28, 2006.

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• I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put Saran wrap over the toilet seat, you know, which doesn't sound that original, but she's bulimic.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Girlfriend, Hate, Night

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• When you go to jail, there's so much simple stuff missing. You just want some good toilet paper or a real toothbrush, a real blanket and a real bed to lay in.

  Ja Rule

  Real, Simple, Jail

  "The Real World of Ja Rule". Interview with Zack Etheart, www.interviewmagazine.com. October 17, 2013.

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