I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
The second mouse gets the cheese!
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station….
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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