My whole existence is spent just trying to not shove bad food in my fat face. It's like a constant struggle. I'll do really good for a while, and then I do bad, then I do really good.
My job is to express who I am and what I hate about the country and what I love about it and what I hate about myself and what I love about myself and to make you laugh while I'm doing it.
I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.
People don't mind positive stereotypes. People don't mind positive assumptions. It's only negative assumptions about them. So their outrage is so arbitrary.
When it comes to stand-up, people feel this need to voice their objection through groaning or being offended. It's really irritating... I mean I love what I do, but that's the irritating side of it.
People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't.
People are too worried a lot of times what other people in the audience are going to think about them, so they like to feign offense so other people don't think that they're inappropriate for laughing at something.
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