It's so difficult to figure out how to offer support and also be honest with someone you love who's in a damaging relationship without making them feel defensive and retreating even further into isolation.
It's OK to tell your partner to objectify you. That's part of the fun of having a partner.
If your partner asks you if something bothers you, and something bothers you, the best thing you can do is say, "Yes, it bothers me." Otherwise you create a situation where they think everything is fine, continue with the offending behavior, while you build up a secret reservoir of resentment that will eventually come pouring out, to their shock.
I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to promise someone, "What I want right now will never change, and as long as I promise you I do - or don't - want a child - or a specific number of children - before we get married, we will never have to experience fear, anxiety, uncertainty, or the pain of not getting what we want, when we want it.
One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone else is trying to be creepy.
Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want.
Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.
You may not be able to convince everyone around you that you're doing the right thing, but you don't have to subject yourself to endless second-guessing from others, either.
Knowledge of death is the beginning of wisdom.
Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.
We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.
You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.
Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
In no state in America is it legal for a landlord to demand their tenants lead a "healthy lifestyle" in order to rent property.
It should go without saying that you are not doing anything wrong by having sex in your own home, and based on the care you've taken to keep things relatively quiet it's unlikely that you're violating any city noise ordinances.
Most of us, however committed we are to our ideals, will find ourselves every now and again reading an attention-grabbing headline from the Daily Mail or some other lowest-common denominator. That's not the same thing as frequenting a site like the white supremacist Stormfront.
Arm yourself with as many options as possible before making your next move.
I'm of the belief that dating "potential" is almost always an exercise in frustration.
A child is not a bargaining chip or a learning tool. Your focus, if you adopt a child of a different race, should be on nurturing and protecting your child from bigotry, not deploying him or her as an anti-racist Mr. Fix-It.
"Not being virulently and overtly racist against black people" and "treating gay people like human beings" are necessary conditions of greatness.
Don't beat yourself up over what you dream about.
Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure.
I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.
Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you.
Someone who responds to "Please don't grope me" with whining and pouting isn't a friend. He's an asshole and a predator.
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