Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
I drink to make other people interesting.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.
I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
or simply:
