Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
They who drink beer will think beer.
Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.