Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate...and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.