A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Men are only as loyal as their options.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
Sometimes the way to a man's heart is through his talleywacker.
The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I asked these Indians: "Do men ever make Chicha?" My question was met with gales of laughter. The women howled. Bent over in hilarity, one replied, "Men can't brew. Chicha made by men would only make gas in the belly. You are a funny man! Beer is women's work."
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.