As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
OF COURSE I'd like to be the ideal mother. But I'm too busy raising children.
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to.
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.
My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay.
or simply:
