I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
or simply: