Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.
The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.
or simply:
